I know the single mum trope because I worried about it a lot myself and laboured under these misconceptions before becoming one: the single mum taking a hard look in the mirror at her worry-lined face, stressing about ever finding love again, unable to even find time for dating, crying by herself in her sad little apartment, desperately lonely.
Well, let me tell you, ladies…they lied to us.
Whoever perpetuated these myths perhaps never became a single mum themselves because yes, we do have to deal with an influx of stress and added responsibility (a natural outcome, maybe), but I’ve been amazed by the parallel wave of peace, serenity and joy I haven’t felt in years.
Like I said, it’s not easy. But the solitude is blissful, something this consummate extrovert never thought she’d say. If anything, I’ve become a bit too fond of being by myself these days, but it’s something I’m not trying to rush out the door. It’s been such an unexpected and welcome experience.
So all things told, it’d be a major understatement to say I’ve come to really love doing things alone in this season of life.
Because the truth is: I’m not lonely, I’m just happily alone.
There’s a pretty profound difference there. I see my little one all the time, I see my friends when I want to, but I have, for the first time in my life, other than all my previous solo travel (which incidentally I now realize there was a cause for) been so content to just be in my own company as much as humanly possible.
So unsurprisingly, when I was planning a fall getaway to Whistler, I very intentionally made this a solo getaway. I could think of nothing better, really. As mentioned, as positive as this new chapter has been, I am also quite stressed and carrying a lot, so I wanted to really try to pour into myself during this trip. And as it happens, my oldest best friend (like oldest as far as our friendship, not her age) lives in Whistler, so I wanted to reserve lots of time to see her as well.
I took off to Pan Pacific Whistler Village Centre with all my essentials: my journals, a really amazing book (currently wrapping up The Golem and the Jinni, so good!), four bathing suits for two days of repeat visits to the pool and hot tub, my film camera to capture the village in all its fall splendour, and lots of comfy cozies.
If you’ve never been to Whistler in the fall, it’s honestly one of my absolute favourite times to visit. There is so much gorgeous fall foliage out, people are wandering the village in such a beautifully relaxed way, and you can still take advantage of so much that you’d want to do in the summer, hikes, walks, basking in the sunshine on a patio, etc., but with the slowness of autumn.
It’s become something of a fall tradition for me to make a pilgrimage here every year. Whistler is one of my favourite places in the world and there’s really no bad time to visit, but autumn has a particular kind of beauty to it. There’s just a softness that is so hard to find any other time of the year.
I had the most beautiful suite overlooking the village, with the mountains framing the rooftops and the deciduous fall trees so beautifully. Pan Pacific has teamed up with Flute & Fromage, who I still need to properly discover in the village, for a gorgeous little charcuterie box that I enjoyed on my sun-soaked deck, and very kindly shared with my girlfriend once she popped in with her sweet little babe.
I also had only my second massage since my spine surgery this March at Whistler Day Spa, and it was so unbelievable. I followed that up with a long stretch in the pool and hot tubs as the fall leaves gently descended to the pool deck around me, with the sun shining overhead.
It was just such a needed reminder to pour into myself, and as much as I desperately miss my Cal Pal whenever I’m apart from him, this solo trip really helped me slow down enough to feel connected to myself again in a way I couldn’t really replicate if I was at home and pulled into the rhythm of my day-to-day life.
I’m teaming up with Pan Pacific Whistler Village Centre, Flute & Fromage and Whistler Day Spa for a giveaway right now for you to win a version of the same getaway. You can enter here until October 16!
But whenever you do see this, even if it’s past the giveaway cut-off, I can’t urge you enough to pursue a solo trip yourself, or even just carving out that time to pour into yourself if you’re with others.
It’s something I’ve always loved to do (like, I’ve been writing guides about travelling alone for ages, even before I became a single mum), but particularly in this season, I’m just reminded that these stories we’ve been told about sad, lonely women are exactly that: stories. There is something pretty powerful about a woman realizing she can be blissfully happy, peaceful and entirely content standing on her own.
